First Timer Information

  1. Program Goals
  2. Our Background
  3. Program Info
  4. Retreat Info                                                                         
  5. Health and Safety
  6. Food and Nutrition
  7. Sleeping/Nighttime
  8. Other Reminders
  9. Fees
  10. FAQ's
  11. Arrival/Departure Times

 

Program Goals

We come together to build a nurturing, safe, fun and appropriate spiritual community which children know as their own. Themes are explored in small groups during the weekend and change with each retreat. NEYM Faith and Practice guide theme exploration, appropriate behavior and response to occasional conflict. Worship is held in the manner of Friends. Parents are encouraged to attend worship with us on First Day as we join the host meeting. Unless a child is a member of the host meeting and normally attends First Day School during meeting, all children remain in meeting for worship on Sunday.  

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Background

Ministry to and among children and their families, in retreat and other settings, has been a primary focus of my spiritual work among Friends for many years. I am a member of Westport Monthly Meeting. Individually, my recorded ministry receives on going nurture and support from a standing committee established by Sandwich Quarterly Meeting. Professionally, I am employed as a youth counselor for the town of Dartmouth, MA. My work there involves individual counseling of children, and teens, group counseling, outreach and support to young people and their parents. During NEYM annual Sessions held in August I am the designated Pastoral Counselor to children and families within the youth programs. My spouse, Betty Ann Lee, and myself have three adult daughters, each active within Friends. We are also proud to say that we are grandparents of five beautiful children! 

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Program Info

We select adult staffers with great care. Our program requires that all perspective adult Resource Leaders must first apply in writing requesting to be considered for staff. Applicants then are required to provide three written recommendations and references on a form that we provide. We look for adults who are sensitive to, and enjoy being with our Quaker children. An ability to nurture, laugh and attend to the precious spirit of children are crucial priorities when selecting staff. We typically have nine to twelve staffers at any given retreat and maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of children to staff. I am very pleased to say that we have some of the finest, most generous and spiritually centered Resource Leaders to be found anywhere!  Parents are also invited to view a section on our site designed for Staff use called JYM Staff Toolbox which explains guidelines, policies and practices for our Staff people.

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Retreat Info

Parents may register their child using the Retreat Sign-up Form located in this site (here), Children need to sign-up for each retreat attended. Sign-up for upcoming retreats is on a first come-first serve basis. When a retreat fills, we move to a wait list.  Scholarship assistance is available to anyone who requests it. We strongly recommend that children and parents follow the JYM Retreat Checklist.

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Health and Safety

A COMPLETED Health and Safety Form must be on file with us at the start of the retreat. Unless info changes, however, there is no need to complete a new Form with each retreat. Health and Safety Form can be completed at the Sign-Up Center.

MEDICATIONS: Please label all medications your child may be taking. Please seal in a zip-lock bag with child’s name on bag, also. If your child can self dose with your permission, that’s okay, just let us know. For safety reasons, however, we must know who is taking what. A Medication Form is filled out when child arrives. A staffer is assigned as “retreat nurse” to assist and remind those children who need assistance and keeps meds for dosing if you prefer. Please let us know about any allergies, food restrictions, etc. on the Health and Safety Form. If you would like to speak confidentially about a specific concern regarding your child, please call me in advance or email me. All records and information contained on the Health and Safety Form remains confidential. Please visit the Sign-Up Center for more information. 

 

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Food and Nutrition

  For nutritional and cost reasons, we tend to offer mostly meat free meals. When meat is offered, another meatless entrée is made available. We are prepared to meet specific dietary needs of your child if we know in advance of the retreat. Please let us know about food allergies and/or chosen diets. Between mealtimes, fruit juices, peanut butter, crackers and fruit are always available free-choice. Please do not allow your child to bring his/her own sweets and snacks, unless they can be shared with 35-to 40 others! Private stashes of candy and gum usually make a mess in sleeping areas and get all over clothing. Let us know if your child is having a “birthday week” so that Wendyl, our Supreme Kitchen Goddess and chef, can bake a cake!

  

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Sleeping/Nighttime

A quiet room is staffed for children wishing to retire early. Young people bed down in sleeping areas as they choose, beside old or just made new friends. Staff sleep scattered about, “crashing” in each of the sleeping areas after our evening staff meeting. Nightlights are used throughout as needed or requested. Some children regularly request stories or soothing music to help them fall asleep. (Ipods with headphones for falling asleep are allowed, but only at bedtime.) Some children like to “read themselves” to sleep using their flashlight, which is perfectly okay. (Hint: Pack extra batteries!) Parents are encouraged to speak with me directly regarding your child’s nighttime rituals, needs or concerns.  

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Other Reminders

Even with lots of free time planned into our schedule, and a quiet hour maintained on Saturday afternoon, children usually arrive home tired after a retreat. In the evening “Closing Circle,” which includes brief worship, songs and stuffed critter intros takes place so that lights out for all is at 9:00 PM…ish!

Most activities take place on premises. No one is allowed to leave the meeting property. Programmed off-site visits are (usually) by car caravan, frequently with the help of local meeting members. Dress-up time on Saturday evening is a JYM Elementary Retreat tradition. Do encourage your child to pack up his/her zany outfits. Top hats and Quaker garb to high fashion and ‘tawdy” is the rule! (We welcome donations to add to our ever-growing supply of dress-up mania!) Please label everything your child brings on retreat, from clothes to sleeping bag. A list of what your child brings helps some children to get it all home again!

Once we have received a Retreat Sign-Up Form for an upcoming retreat, a first timer greetings and welcome will be sent to your child.  

Image Privacy Policy
Full names of children are never displayed in our online photo album. Photo albums are maintained to enhance the sense of our JYM Retreat community only and have no other purpose. Photos are also copy-protected. Parents (and/or children) may request to omit their child's image from either our hard-copy albums or our online albums. Occasionally our photos are sought for inclusion in other Friend's publications, in which case permission will be sought beforehand. Visit Photo page.

Please call or email us if you have any questions. Kevin's home number is 508-994-1638. Office number with voice mail any hour is 508-910-1855. You may also want to email Kevin. Thank you, welcome, and may God hold us in this ministry.  

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FEES

Cost per person is $60.00.  $5.00 sibling discount applies.  Please don’t let money keep anyone away.  Scholarships are available.  Speak with Kevin if scholarship is needed.

Please make checks payable to NEYM.  Please pay at Retreat.  

 

FAQ's

TWENTY QUESTIONS MOST COMMONLY ASKED BY PARENTS!

Is Scholarship help available? Yes! Meetings can usually help also. But let us know when you register what your need is, from partial to 100%.

My child has some specific needs/concerns regarding bedtime or nighttime hours, should I call you? Yes! If you feel it would help your child for me to be aware of a situation, please call. Confidentiality is always honored.

Can my child bring treats? No! Unless all retreat attendees can have some. Private supplies of goodies make a mess of sleeping areas and cause other problems.

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Can my child invite a non-Friend to a retreat? Yes. Visitors are welcome as long as the visiting child’s parent is fully aware that we practice our faith as Friends at our retreats. (Remember that our retreats frequently fill with a waiting list, so best to make sure there’s room ahead of time.)

My child wants me to spend the night with him/her. Is this okay? No. Experience has shown that it is usually best for parents to leave shortly after arriving for the retreat. The longer a parent lingers, the harder it is for the child to make the transition. If you determine that your child does not want to experience the overnight part without you, your child probably is not ready for weekend retreats away from home. Some a ready in first grade, others later, a few never.

Where will my child be sleeping? All over the place! Sleeping areas are scattered throughout the retreat sight, depending on location. Children seem to develop their favorite spots over time. Staff are distributed in all of the sleeping areas. We do not separate children by grade, age or gender. They are free to sleep next to whomever they choose. Some children feel more comfortable sleeping next to a Staff person. This is always acceptable. In fact, some children “line up” their favorite staffer ahead of time!

My child likes to read before falling asleep. Is this okay? Yes. Bedtime looks like a library at retreats. Hint: Pack extra batteries.

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My child is taking meds. and can self dose. Is this okay? Yes. But for safety reasons, we must know who is taking what. Parents are requested to fill out a Health and Safety Form upon arrival, or pack a note if car-pooling. Please put all meds in a zip lock bag with your child’s name on it, whether they are self-dosing or require assistance. You may also request that we monitor and/or administer the prescribed dosage, and hold onto meds during retreat. We assign a “retreat nurse” who oversees all meds and doses. We try to get meds into their bags at the end of the retreat, but please double check at pickup. We mail any meds left behind. Names and prescribed meds are considered confidential.

Can my child call home? Yes, but we don’t verbally encourage it. Anytime a child really feels the need to call they can at any hour. (Though for practicality reasons, we try to hold home calls off until just after breakfast and supper. This approach seems to work well.)

Can parents join us for worship on First day? Yes. It’s wonderful for us as staff and for the host meeting to have visiting Friends.

How do you work meeting for worship on Sunday, and First Day School? Only children who attend the host meeting are allowed to attend that meeting’s FDS. Our retreat attenders remain in meeting for worship for its duration.

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My child has a schedule conflict. Can he/she arrive on Saturday? WE STRONGLY DISCOURAGE THIS! Important group bonding takes place in the first twelve hours, and sometimes one or two Small Groups will have already met by mid-morning on Saturday. We encourage parents to let coaches and other organization leaders know that this is a religious retreat, and can with your support, have precedence over other activities.

My child would like to experience the retreat but isn’t sure about the overnight piece. If you live nearby the retreat location, come for the evening and/or Saturday program, but pack the overnight stuff just in case. If child wants to “bail” near bedtime, you can return and pick him/her up, and come back in the morning. Children frequently decide to stay by the second night, however.

My child is a bed-wetter in new places. Is this a problem? No. Other young people also struggle with this. We keep extra sleeping bags on hand just in case. You can send extra bedding and sleepwear, too, and alert us to the possibility. Do encourage your child not to be overly worried about this.

Can my child bring homework? We discourage it! It rarely gets done when they bring it on their own. Books and notebooks get lost. We encourage parents to consider writing a note to teachers informing them that child was on retreat. It’s coming, but late!

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What if my child gets sick? We call you right away. If the illness is minor and parent agrees with child who may want to stay, that’s okay with us. “Retreat nurse” consults with child, other staffers and me and then calls you. We have the usual array of children’s cold and flu meds with us and can administer (or not) as you decide. The final decision rests with you as the parent.

For families in “transition,” grieving, or in other crisis: Many children feel more comfortable if a staffer on retreat is aware of their situation. Others do not. If you feel that it would be helpful for us to be aware of a particular situation, please call. In particular, a significant part of Kevin's ministry also involves pastoral care to children and their families within the Yearly Meeting. Anything that we may discuss remains strictly confidential.

Questions about theology, retreat theme content, etc: We make staff notes available to parents, which can be picked up at the retreat and frequently within this site as well. (Click “Staff Notes” from the JYM Sign-up Center) This should give you an idea about how we intend to approach a particular subject or theme. Scripture and NEYM Faith and Practice remain primary sources. Other faith traditions and spiritual beliefs in addition to the typical Judeo-Christian traditions may also be explored depending on our theme. We welcome your thoughts, suggestions and possible contributions regarding themes and topics explored.

How do you select staff? We choose staff very carefully! All JYM Elementary Retreat staffers have been recommended to us by Quaker or monthly meeting sources. All have furnished references and bring an element of ministry and Call to their presence among children. Please see Program Information section for more about staff. We have an awesome crew with many having staffed with us for more than twelve years! If you or someone you know would like to be considered for staffing, please begin the process by requesting a JYM Retreats Staff Application. Generally speaking, this needs to happen at least three months before staffing a first retreat. Parents and potential Staffers might want to see our JYM Retreats Staff Toolbox section.

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Is Kevin employed by NEYM? For the past twenty-one years Kevin Lee received a stipend per retreat and was not an employee of NEYM. Beginning in the fall of 2009, Kevin Lee will move from a stipend per retreat coordinator position to a paid, part-time employee coordinator of NEYM. (Gretchen Baker-Smith, who runs the JHYM Retreat Program, will also share this position with Kevin.) Effective with this change, Jonathan Vogel-Borne, Secretary of NEYM, will provide direct supervision and oversight of the JYM Elementary Retreats Coordinator. Contact Jonathan at 617-354-3808 or via email.

Can donations be made?  Sure can! Donations are always appreciated. Contributions to JYM Elementary Retreats help others to attend retreats and generally help us to continue in this ministry. Thank you

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