We come together to
build a nurturing, safe, fun and appropriate spiritual community
which children know as their own. Themes are explored in small
groups during the weekend and change with each retreat. NEYM Faith
and Practice guide theme exploration, appropriate behavior and
response to occasional conflict. Worship is held in the manner
of Friends. Parents are encouraged to attend worship with us on
First Day as we join the host meeting. Unless a child is a member
of the host meeting and normally attends First Day School during
meeting, all children remain in meeting for worship on Sunday.
Ministry
to and among children and their families, in retreat and other
settings, has been a primary focus of my spiritual work among
Friends for many years. I am a member of Westport Monthly Meeting.
Individually, my recorded ministry receives on going nurture and
support from a standing committee established by Sandwich Quarterly
Meeting. Professionally, I am employed as a youth counselor for
the town of Dartmouth, MA. My work there involves individual counseling
of children, and teens, group counseling, outreach and support
to young people and their parents. During NEYM annual Sessions
held in August I am the designated Pastoral
Counselor to children and families within the youth programs.
My spouse, Betty Ann Lee, and myself have three young adult daughters,
each active within Friends.
We
select adult staffers with great care. Our program requires that
all perspective adult Resource Leaders must first apply in writing
requesting to be considered for staff. Applicants then are required
to provide three written recommendations and references on a form
that we provide. We look for adults who are sensitive to, and
enjoy being with our Quaker children. An ability to nurture, laugh
and attend to the precious spirit of children are crucial priorities
when selecting staff. We typically have nine to twelve staffers
at any given retreat and maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of children to
staff. I am very pleased to say that we have some of the finest,
most generous and spiritually centered Resource Leaders to be
found anywhere!
Parents may register their child using the Retreat Sign-up Form located in this site (here), Children need to sign-up for each retreat attended. Sign-up for upcoming retreats is on a first come-first serve basis. When a retreat fills, we move to a wait list. Please fill out the “Mailing List Data Form” (click here) if you wish to have your child on our mailing list. Scholarship assistance is available to anyone who requests it. We strongly recommend that children and parents follow the JYM Retreat Checklist.
A COMPLETED Health and Safety Form must be on file with us at the start of the retreat. Unless info changes, however, there is no need to complete a new Form with each retreat. Health and Safety Form can be completed at the Sign-Up Center.
MEDICATIONS: Please label all medications your child may be taking. Please seal in a zip-lock bag with child’s name on bag, also. If your child can self dose with your permission, that’s okay, just let us know. For safety reasons, however, we must know who is taking what. A Medication Form is filled out when child arrives. A staffer is assigned as “retreat nurse” to assist and remind those children who need assistance and keeps meds for dosing if you prefer. Please let us know about any allergies, food restrictions, etc. on the Health and Safety Form. If you would like to speak confidentially about a specific concern regarding your child, please call me in advance or email me. All records and information contained on the Health and Safety Form remains confidential. Please visit the Sign-Up Center for more information.
For nutritional and cost reasons, we tend to offer mostly meat
free meals. When meat is offered, another meatless entrée is made
available. We are prepared to meet specific dietary needs of your
child if we know in advance of the retreat. Please let us know
about food allergies and/or chosen diets. Between mealtimes, fruit
juices, peanut butter, crackers and fruit are always available
free-choice. Please do not allow your child to bring his/her own
sweets and snacks, unless they can be shared with 35-to 40 others!
Private stashes of candy and gum usually make a mess in sleeping
areas and get all over clothing. Let us know if your child is
having a “birthday week” so that Wendyl, our Supreme Kitchen Goddess
and chef, can bake a cake!
A
quiet room is staffed for children wishing to retire early. Young
people bed down in sleeping areas as they choose, beside old or
just made new friends. Staff sleep scattered about, “crashing”
in each of the sleeping areas after our evening staff meeting.
Nightlights are used throughout as needed or requested. Some children
regularly request stories or soothing music to help them fall
asleep. (Walkmans with headphones for falling asleep are allowed,
but only at bedtime.) Some children like to “read themselves”
to sleep using their flashlight, which is perfectly okay. (Hint:
Pack extra batteries!) Parents are encouraged to speak with me
directly regarding your child’s nighttime rituals, needs or concerns.
Cost
per person is $45.00. $5.00
sibling discount applies.
Please don’t let money keep anyone away.
Scholarships are available.
Speak with Kevin
if scholarship is needed.
Please
make checks payable to NEYM.
Please
pay at Retreat.
TWENTY
QUESTIONS MOST COMMONLY ASKED BY PARENTS!
Is
Scholarship help available? Yes!
Meetings can usually help also. But let us know when you register
what your need is, from partial to 100%.
My
child has some specific needs/concerns regarding bedtime or nighttime
hours, should I call you?
Yes! If you feel it would help your child for me to be aware of
a situation, please call. Confidentiality is always honored.
Can
my child bring treats?
No! Unless all retreat attendees can have some. Private supplies
of goodies make a mess of sleeping areas and cause other problems.
Can
my child invite a non-Friend to a retreat? Yes.
Visitors are welcome as long as the visiting child’s parent is
fully aware that we practice our faith as Friends at our retreats.
(Remember that our retreats frequently fill with a waiting list,
so best to make sure there’s room ahead of time.)
My
child wants me to spend the night with him/her. Is this okay?
No. Experience has shown that it is usually best for parents to
leave shortly after arriving for the retreat. The longer a parent
lingers, the harder it is for the child to make the transition.
If you determine that your child does not want to experience the
overnight part without you, your child probably is not ready for
weekend retreats away from home. Some a ready in first grade,
others later, a few never.
Where
will my child be sleeping?
All over the place! Sleeping areas are scattered throughout the
retreat sight, depending on location. Children seem to develop
their favorite spots over time. Staff are distributed in all
of the sleeping areas. We do not separate children by grade, age
or gender. They are free to sleep next to whomever they choose.
Some children feel more comfortable sleeping next to a Staff person.
This is always acceptable. In fact, some children “line up” their
favorite staffer ahead of time!
My
child likes to read before falling asleep. Is this okay?
Yes. Bedtime looks like a library at retreats. Hint: Pack extra
batteries.
My
child is taking meds. and can self dose. Is this okay? Yes.
But for safety reasons, we must know who is taking what. Parents
are requested to fill out a Health and Safety Form upon arrival,
or pack a note if car-pooling. Please put all
meds in a zip lock bag with your child’s name on it, whether they
are self-dosing or require assistance. You may also request that
we monitor and/or administer the prescribed dosage, and hold onto
meds during retreat. We assign a “retreat nurse” who oversees
all meds and doses. We try to get meds into their bags at the
end of the retreat, but please double check at pickup. We mail
any meds left behind. Names and prescribed meds are considered
confidential.
Can
my child call home? Yes,
but we don’t verbally encourage it. Anytime a child really feels
the need to call they can at any hour. (Though for practicality
reasons, we try to hold home calls off until just after breakfast
and supper. This approach seems to work well.)
Can
parents join us for worship on First day?
Yes. It’s wonderful for us as staff and for the host meeting to
have visiting Friends.
How
do you work meeting for worship on Sunday, and First Day School?
Only children who attend the host meeting are allowed to attend
that meeting’s FDS. Our retreat attenders remain in meeting for
worship for its duration.
My
child has a schedule conflict. Can he/she arrive on Saturday?
WE STRONGLY DISCOURAGE THIS! Important group bonding takes place
in the first twelve hours, and sometimes one or two Small Groups
will have already met by mid-morning on Saturday. We encourage
parents to let coaches and other organization leaders know that
this is a religious retreat, and can with your support, have precedence
over other activities.
My
child would like to experience the retreat but isn’t sure about
the overnight piece. If
you live nearby the retreat location, come for the evening and/or
Saturday program, but pack the overnight stuff just in case. If
child wants to “bail” near bedtime, you can return and pick him/her
up, and come back in the morning. Children frequently decide to
stay by the second night, however.
My
child is a bed-wetter in new places. Is this a problem?
No. Other young people also struggle with this. We keep extra
sleeping bags on hand just in case. You can send extra bedding
and sleepwear, too, and alert us to the possibility. Do encourage
your child not to be overly worried about this.
Can
my child bring homework? We
discourage it! It rarely gets done when they bring it on their
own. Books and notebooks get lost. We encourage parents to consider
writing a note to teachers informing them that child was on retreat.
It’s coming, but late!
What
if my child gets sick?
We call you right away. If the illness is minor and parent agrees
with child who may want to stay, that’s okay with us. “Retreat
nurse” consults with child, other staffers and me and then calls
you. We have the usual array of children’s cold and flu meds with
us and can administer (or not) as you decide. The final decision
rests with you as the parent.
For
families in “transition,” grieving, or in other crisis:
Many children feel more comfortable if a staffer on retreat is
aware of their situation. Others do not. If you feel that it would
be helpful for us to be aware of a particular situation, please
call. In particular, a significant part of Kevin's ministry also
involves pastoral care to children and their families within the
Yearly Meeting. Anything that we may discuss
remains strictly confidential.
Questions
about theology, retreat theme content, etc:
We make staff notes available to parents, which can be picked
up at the retreat and frequently within this we site as well.
(Click “Staff Notes” from Home Page) This should give you an idea
about how we intend to approach a particular subject or theme.
Scripture and NEYM Faith and Practice remain primary sources.
Other faith traditions and spiritual beliefs in addition to the
typical Judeo-Christian traditions may also be explored depending
on our theme. We welcome your thoughts, suggestions and possible
contributions regarding themes and topics explored.
Is Kevin employed by NEYM? No. NEYM, through its Youth Programs Committee, oversees and guides our retreat program. Kevin receives a stipend per retreat from the retreat proceeds. Most of our program is basically self-sustaining and is not funded, for example, in the same way that the NEYM Young Friends program and its Youth and Education Secretary is.
Can donations be made? Sure can! Donations are always appreciated. Contributions to JYM Elementary Retreats help others to attend retreats and generally help us to continue in this ministry. Thank you