JHYM Retreat Staff Notes
JHYM Retreats * April 30 – May 2, 2010 * Portland Meeting
WE ARE: Anne Anderson, Kara Price Bachand, Carol Baker (as our Exalted Food Wizard!), Buddy Baker-Smith, Gretchen Baker-Smith, Dave Baxter, Jim Campbell, Josiah Erikson, Eileen Johnson, and Dee Kelsey.
WE ARE DEEPLY BLESSED to have Tom Antonik, Brad Bussiere-Nichols, Peter Curtis, Emily Kelsey, Maria Smith-Lachman, Laura Van der Pol, Jeffrey Wood and possibly another couple of Young Friends all stopping by at various points throughout the weekend to lend hands, cars, presence, and laughter.
JOINING US are 41 JH’ers. Our only two first timers are both long-time JYM participants in the sixth grade. Wow, huh?!
The JHYM Retreat program’s goal is to provide a safe and trusting community in which we seek to find that of God in ourselves and in each other. Our charge, as ministers of the Spirit, is to help our young people create a sanctuary. What I appreciate more as the years go on, is just how rare and astounding a “safe and trusting spiritual community” truly is for young teens. What we “do”, with the Grace of God, is provide them with an experience in building a spiritually grounded community that they then take with them, and hopefully build on, for years and decades and a lifetime to come.
Arrival: I will be arriving with Buddy around 4:30pm. Registration is at 7pm. Please let me know your e.t.a.
Wrap-up: Sunday Morning Worship is at 10:30, followed by announcements and lunch. I anticipate we’ll be out by 1 or 1:30pm. Thank you!
DIRECTIONS TO PORTLAND ARE ON OUR WEBSITE.
Near the core of my call to youth ministry is a certainty that experiences of God are not reserved for card-carrying adults. Children and teens have their own understandings, words (or lack thereof), and spiritual rhythms to what they experience and know, which may be different from what the theologians have written massive quantities about over the ages. I continue to be struck at how profoundly powerful it is for our children to hear where we sense that of God – of truth, beauty, love, spirit, compassion, Light – within them, that is both unique and universal, that is needed, and that ‘shines.’ And my heart aches for what we lose, not just in the Religious Society of Friends, but in all of humanity, when our young people dismiss their experiences of the Holy because they don’t fit the terminologies, the patterns, or the seriousness which the adults and academics teach and hold up as the way.
In preparing for this retreat, I asked two Young Friends who went through JYM and JHYM, if they would share something about their leading to raise money by making and selling friendship bracelets. They were surprised, and somewhat reluctant, to hear me use that wording. I acknowledged it might not be how they would describe it, but that, from my viewpoint, they have been faithfully following the ideas or bits of work, one step at a time with love, joy and an easy sense of peace. And that to me, that is the Spirit at work. They may be too close to it, and it may be too soon for them to describe it as such, but as an older Friend who has watched and felt it unfold, that is how I would describe it. This was so powerful for them, to have that naming and connection made, that they joyfully agreed to write something – in their own words and understanding, and I was again reminded of how important and beautiful this ministry that we are all doing really is. In our safe and loving community, we can share our spiritual experiences and knowledge and translate them into a language – or a silent, active-listening space – that works for our middle schoolers so that they honor and take care of that which is within them, too.
In our small groups, we will be exploring how we experience nudges of the Spirit (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually), how we honor, discern and tend them, and what process and wisdom Friends have gleaned over the years that can be helpful in these rivers. We’ll consider questions like: Does God keep you up at night? Is there any difference between doing the right thing and being led by the Spirit? Is it hard to know at the time, and does it matter? Do we believe, or remain open to the possibility, that we may be led by the Light? How do we become better attuned to listening to the nudges of the Spirit? And how can individual Friends and our faith communities (retreat, monthly meeting, yearly meeting, etc) help to support us in our leadings? (You didn’t know this was going to be a two year retreat, huh? J)
And so, I invite each of you to bring your experiences of being nudged (or had your breath taken away!) by God, and to be prepared to listen to, gently tease out, and perhaps even call out, those of our JH’ers. Come prepared to do it playfully, seriously, with giggles and grace, and lots of love. Thank you, dear Friends, for you, and for the Spirit who attends our work and joy.
Small Groups will meet three times over the course of the weekend: Friday evening, Saturday morning, and Sunday morning (we’ll see how that goes!). We will be divided into 4 small groups – with 10 JH’ers and 2 staffers for each group. You’ll be in the same small group for the weekend. Details will be in your staff notebooks!
Worship and Message on Service Work: Before lunch on Saturday, Young Friend Extraordinaire Emily Kelsey will be joining us to talk about her experience last summer going to Kakamega, Kenya with an organization called Friends of Kakamega. It is possible that Kristina Johnson will join Emily for this presentation, as she and her mom – long time staffer Eileen, who will be with us as well – were on the same trip.
SERVICE PROJECTS: On Saturday afternoon we will be going out into the Portland area to lend our hands and hearts in a variety of ways. Dear Friend Dee Kelsey has, for the 5th year in a row, organized these opportunities for us, and I cannot adequately express my awe and gratitude for the prayer, patience, and gifts of organizing which she brings to this work. She and I have exchanged hundreds of emails while contacting organizations and individual Friends, trying to match needs with time lines/teen attention spans and abilities/available cars/safety concerns/feedback from previous years. Her generosity, talents and great sense of humor are incredible. Please join me in thanking her at every opportunity.
This year’s opportunities include helping to prep dessert for the evening meal at a local soup kitchen; doing yard and garden work for an elder Friend, for one of Goodwill’s Group Homes, for a family receiving help through eHope, and for the Portland Friends School; making sewing kits for women in Kakamega; making posters and preparing announcements about Friends Camp; and working at Habitat’s Lego Building Contest at the Maine Mall. Because of the diverse projects and our adequate, but small staff, I had to assign all of you to your service projects this year – rather than give you choices. I know, I know – Quakers never like to be told what to do – I’ll make sure to have a spot for all of your complaints on the staff evaluation form! J
We’ll head out for these at 1:30pm and aim to return at 4:00 or 4:15.
Quiet Hour outside in the back yard with Gretchen: As long as it’s not raining, this Portland tradition will happen again for those who wish to join me. (Trust me: Staffers love this. The Meeting House is almost empty, and you get to take real naps inside!)
Saturday Evening: We will break into two groups: The 8th Graders will have a discussion on going into Young Friends in the fall with Tom Antonik, Emily Kelsey, and Dave. This program time could include sharing a YF song or two, and possibly a YF game. (Hint: “Spanking Yoda” has been a big hit the past few years.)
Simultaneously, the 6th and 7th graders will joyfully -- and quickly -- work on creating special Quaker Oats Box gifts (a requested tradition at this point) to present to the 8th graders at the Circle of Affirmation, which will immediately follow.
Last year’s Circle of Affirmation was really a beautiful evening of extended sharing in friendship and community – I anticipate this year’s will be also.
Sunday Morning: Portland has Business Meeting on the main floor at 8:45 on Sunday morning, which means that we have to have that floor and the top floor completely cleaned up and ready by 8:30AM. Ouch. We have done it the last 4 or 5 years – so we know it’s possible! (I’ll bring Dark Chocolate Espresso Beans for staffers who need them….) We are going to try having a shorter small group Sunday morning – we’ll see how that goes!
Once again, the amazing Carol Baker has volunteered to be our cook for the weekend. As is our practice, each small group will take a meal to assist preparing and cleaning up. Anyone lacking something to do at any time is always welcome to check in with Carol and see how you can help. Thanks!
“FREE TIME”
Junior Highers want free time, but most of them want it with structure so that they can be in community. This is my mantra: “free time” is not staff free time. All of us on staff need to initiate group games (Apples to Apples, Egyptian War, JYM Ball, Graveyard Tag), inspire craft projects, encourage the creation of new Who’s Who Book pages, and engage stragglers into the mix in any ways we feel led – or the young people themselves lead. With JH’ers, it can be especially important to gently, continually nurture inclusivity. Please consider your gifts and leadings – and go for it!
Registrar: Dave
Retreat Nurse: Eileen
Craft Table Elder: Anne
Name Tag Czar: Josiah (you’ll be experienced, now!)
Photographers: Buddy and Kara
Service Project Master Planner: Dee
Service Project Transportation Coordinator: Jim (don’t worry – it’s not hard!)
Group Game Leaders: any and all!
Exalted Food Wizard: Carol Baker – with much thanks and love!
Final note
Do know, dear Friends, my gratitude and love for each of you.
Gretchen Baker-Smith, JHYM Retreat leader
508-997-0940 (h) * hellogretchen@gmail.com * 508-287-6441 (cell)
http://www.facebook.com/hellogretchen
Callings, Leadings, & Wakings in the Night 5/10
Friday Night Small Group
As always, start with a round of check ins! Take as long as you need to, and be sure to stress the goals and expectations of small groups, respect, confidentiality, etc.
Then…….J
The Scene: A small, crowded breakfast restaurant. Three Quakers are sitting at a table in the middle of the room, with four groups of professionals sitting in tables around them. There is only one wait staff.
The Characters:
1 Friend George or Friend Mary (played by a JHYM staffer)
2 Quaker Elders
4-8 Professionals: 1-2 doctors, 1-2 athletes, 1-2 journalists and 1-2 business managers
1 wait person
Director’s Note:
The remaining JHYM staffer is the Director, Stage Manager, and Time Keeper. He/She should hand out the suggestions to all of the characters (see envelopes) – explaining that in the spirit of an improv, characters should not/have not seen these ahead of time.
The Scenario: Friend George or Friend Mary (G/M) is meeting two other Quakers to help gain clarity on whether or not he/she is experiencing a leading. However, the restaurant is very small, and when the Friend says, “I’m not sure, but several things have happened to me lately, and I think God might be trying to tell me something” everyone hears it. One at a time (tapping Friend G/M on the shoulder and saying, “Excuse me, but…”) they ask Friend G/M questions from their particular lines of work and life experience. (Suggestions are in the envelopes.) Friend G/M answers them as best he/she can. The Quaker Elders cannot get a word in.
Director’s Notes:
Your job is to ensure that this isn’t just a shouting match. Hopefully the tapping on the shoulder will help everyone take turns. You may need to instruct everyone in how an improv works when actors listen to each other and respond.
After 10 minutes or so (at your discretion), freeze the improv, (go ahead, dramatically shout, “Cut!”).
Ask Friend G/M: “Has this been helpful?” “What questions or comments would be most helpful for the elders to ask you?” (Avoid letting them explain why just yet!)
Invite the rest of the cast to step out of character and thoughtfully contribute their ideas. Direct the two Elders to use these as help in writing their own questions.
Re-start the improv from the beginning. Friend G/M and the two Elders engage in a conversation that tries to help the former discern if this is a true leading. Instruct the professionals and wait staff that this time they are to have good manners and keep out of the conversation completely!
Director’s Note:
Save time at the end to reflect as a group. Possible questions to pose:
*What made a lot of the questions unhelpful?
*What were the most helpful?
*Has anyone been in a situation where it was hard to translate a spiritual experience to a “non-Quaker”?
*Does anyone have someone in their (real) life who is or would be a good person to talk to about a nudge or leading of the Spirit? What is it about them?
*Was this a helpful way to think and talk about this topic?
The Doctor
Try to think like a doctor or health professional does when they are trying to determine what is going on with a patient. (Remember: they generally figure something is wrong!)
You DO NOT have to use these specific questions – they are just suggestions to get you thinking. Be creative!
*What are your symptoms?
*Do you have an irregular pulse or trouble breathing?
*How are you sleeping?
*Should we do an X-ray or MRI?
The Athlete
Try to think like athletes think about their bodies and their training routines when they are aiming for perfection, the Olympics, etc.
You DO NOT have to use these specific questions – they are just suggestions to get you thinking. Be creative!
*Have you been in training for this? For how long?
*How good are you?
*Are you a winner? Do you have trophies?
*What do you do for warm-ups?
2 News Reporters
Try to think like journalists under tight deadlines who want to get to the truth – or at least really good sound bites! (You can pretend you have a notebook or a tape recorder.)
You DO NOT have to use these specific questions – they are just suggestions to get you thinking. Be creative!
*How are you feeling right now?
*What would you like to tell everyone back home?
*Describe your experience in a few words – I’m on a deadline.
*Can we get a photo?
2 Bankers or Business Managers
Try to think like business people whose bottom line is the profit margin (how much money they make) and an organized plan to get it. (You can use the calculator if you want!) You DO NOT have to use these specific questions – they are just suggestions to get you thinking. Be creative!
*How much is this going to cost?
*Do you have the money to do what is being asked of you?
*Do you have a plan of action?
*Are you sure this is going to succeed?
*What’s in it for you?
Wait person
You are the only wait staff on this morning. It’s really busy, but you are pretty interested in this conversation, too. Try to use the words that they use.
You DO NOT have to use these specific questions – they are just suggestions to get you thinking. Be creative!
*Do you think it was something that you ate?
*Did you get your daily bread today?
*Is there anything I can do for you?
*Do you know what you want?
*How is everything?
Friend G/M
You are to answer the questions as truthfully as you can in the manner of Friends and in the mindset of trying to discern your leading. Have fun – and good luck!