JHYM Retreat Staff Notes

JHYM Retreats provide a safe and trusting community in which we seek to find that of God in ourselves and in each other. There are so many developmental, social, and spiritual aspects of life changing between 6^th and 9^th grade. Giving young people a place to be able to be present to those lightening speed changes within themselves, and one to another -- while still having fun – and learning that they can build their own beautiful, loving community of peers is incredibly rare and powerful. Our charge, as ministers of the Spirit, is to help our young people create a sanctuary in grace and joy.

WE ARE: Anne Anderson, Dylan Anderson, Buddy Baker-Smith, Dave Baxter, Jim Campbell, Jerry Carson, Emily Edwards, Sarah Gove, Wendyl Ross (our Supreme Kitchen Goddess), Jonathan Vogel-Borne, and moi.

WE ARE DEEPLY BLESSED to have Allie Hersey joining us for Saturday to lead an afternoon workshop on fleece and yarn! Allie is the Accounts Manager for NEYM – which she does with grace, humor, skill and care – as well as an accomplished artist and long-time Friend. I am absolutely delighted to have her joining us. (And yes, we have Jonathan Vogel-Borne, NEYM Secretary, with us for the weekend! How cool is that???) And being back at “Wendyl’s” – whom we have not seen in JHYM since last year – is also a huge, joyous gift. Thank you all, dear Friends.

Timelines

PLEASE NOTE THE SIGNIFICANT PROGRAM CHANGE THIS YEAR. WE ARE NOT PROVIDING SUPPER ON FRIDAY NIGHT. THERE ARE SUBSTANTIAL SNACKS PROVIDED – but not dinner.

Arrival: I will be arriving between 4:30 and 5:00 with at least one JH’er. Registration is at 7pm. Please let me know your e.t.a. – anytime between 5 and 7 will be fine!

Wrap-up: Sunday Morning Worship is at 10:00, followed by lunch, cleanup and goodbyes. If everyone on staff can stay until 1:00, we will all be able to get on the road before 1:30. If you need to leave earlier than this for any reason, please let me know.

It would be helpful to have 2 more CD Players for small groups – if you have one you can bring let me know, please?

We all have shining and rough parts. Middle School can be a particularly hard time – so much eye rolling, put downs, drama around who’s popular, and who’s not…. This weekend is both a fun time-out from that and an opportunity for thoughtfully looking inward. How can being more honest and forgiving about our own imperfections create more compassion and Light for others?

People often ask how I pick the themes. Sometimes they come to me on a silver platter from a song, poem, or story. Sometimes I hear the need for them in our community. And sometimes they come from my own journey. This theme is of the latter. What I have humbly experienced and grown from the last few years are the miraculous powers of love and forgiveness within, from others, and most especially from God to heal and transform. Seeing one’s own strengths and struggles with clear eyes, and then offering them to the Light for grace and mercy, opens our hearts and eyes to beholding those around us with that same loving compassion. I walk around in amazement, and I so wish for everyone I know and love to know this same Light. And from the reactions that young people, parents, and staffers have shared with me around this theme, it is clear that this is a universal, human struggle…. yearning…..and discovery.

All of us are works in progress. We make mistakes – many that are little and at least a few that seem much bigger. But our society doesn’t leave a lot of room for the reality of this….especially in the culture of middle schools – nor wisdom on how do live from it. Some of our children struggle with deep issues of perfectionism while others feel like they don’t fit in anywhere, nor do anything right or well, and so don’t. The most consistent description of JHYM – that it is a safe and fun place where people can be themselves – reflects our community’s role as a sanctuary. And, in fact, we will mindfully declare Wellesley Meeting a “Judgment Free Zone” for the weekend. – including within and for ourselves.

We will spend time in thoughtful discussions about what is easy and hard for each of us, (and why it’s so hard to share this stuff out loud), how we deal with ourselves when we make mistakes, and why it might be that certain people really irritate us while others don’t. We’ll offer affirmations to each other and ask to be held in the Light for specific things we’re working on. And we’ll write private letters to ourselves that I’ll mail in a few weeks to remind us of any insights we gain. We’ll also have some fun with this theme. Some of you will get to be esteemed judges for light-hearted competitions in eye rolling, in full body language rejections, and in verbal put-downs. And our Saturday afternoon workshops this retreat are just grand opportunities to relax, play, and create.

We, and our entire world, are deeply in need of more compassion within and for ourselves….. and between us. This weekend is an opportunity for us to plant these seeds within the hearts of our middle schoolers, and to be open to the possibilities of them and the Spirit planting the same in ours. Please spend some time this week considering what truth you have to share here – you are JHYM staffers because I trust and fully support you in all of the ways you contribute to this community. I thank you, with awe and deep love.

SMALL GROUPS

Small Groups will meet 3 times over the course of the weekend. We will be divided into 4 small groups – with 8-9 JH’ers and 2-3 staffers for each group. Detailed information and activities for each of the small groups will be in your staff notebooks. Very briefly, here is where I think we’ll head:

Friday night: Hellos and check-ins; confidentiality agreement; and then beginning questions around naming personal strengths and struggles.

Saturday morning: Check-ins; and then questions (in the take-out boxes) around how we deal with being works in progress, making mistakes, and cleaning up our messes.

Saturday evening: Check-ins on our judgment free day; a brief discussion on the power of people’s belief in us and what it means to hold someone in the Light; and then time for each person to receive affirmations and then ask to be held in the Light in some particular area of their personhood that they are working on.

Let me just say – this is an awesome list of workshops! J The trip to the Greenhouse will run the entire two hours. The rest of the workshops will run in two 45-minute sessions. JH’ers will make first and second choices, and we’ll do our best to fulfill requests. By this time in the school year, they are pretty weary (even with the school vacation week just prior to it), and they thrive on this afternoon in community.

· Fleece, Fiber, Yarn and Projects* Allie

*She’ll run 2 separate workshops – some JH’ers may choose to spend the afternoon!

· Teamwork Games Buddy

“FREE TIME”

Junior Highers want free time, but most of them want it with structure so that they can be in community. This is my mantra: “free time” is not staff free time. All of us on staff need to initiate group games (Apples to Apples, Egyptian War, JYM Ball, Graveyard Tag), inspire craft projects, encourage the creation of new Who’s Who Book pages, and engage stragglers into the mix in any ways we feel led – or the young people themselves lead. With JH’ers, it can be especially important to gently, continually nurture inclusivity. Please consider your gifts and leadings – and go for it!

The Quiet Room

We will use the nursery on the 2^nd floor. (Otherwise, except for small group meetings, and use of the bathrooms, JHYM stays on the first floor of the building all weekend!)

Other info on the rhythm of JHYM Retreats can be found in a separate note written especially for First-Time Staffers available in your staff notebooks and on our website.

Staff Assignments

Do know, dear Friends, my gratitude and love for each of you. Get lots of sleep between now and then.♥

Works in Progress

Quotes and Wisdom

I am a work in progress, dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding, offering me intricate patterns of questions, rhythms that never come clean, and strengths that you still haven't seen."

Meeting became a school for faithfulness, a way of directing my attention away from myself towards God, so it would be possible to look for the person God wanted me to be, and into which I had to grow…I came to understand why it is impossible to be a Quaker without a meeting.

It is a severe rebuke upon us that God makes us so many allowances and we make so few to our neighbor…

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

Years ago, I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

I don’t believe we learn by our triumphs. I think we learn by our mistakes. Goodness knows, it’s not that we want to. But it’s the stumblings that give us some clue as to what we’re really driving for.

A friend is one who overlooks your broken down fence and admires the flowers in your window.

The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Works in Progress

February 25-27, 2011 * Wellesley Monthly Meeting of Friends

WE ARE: Anne Anderson, Dylan Anderson, Buddy Baker-Smith, Dave Baxter, Jim Campbell, Jerry Carson, Emily Edwards, Sarah Gove, Wendyl Ross (our Supreme Kitchen Goddess), Jonathan Vogel-Borne, and moi.

Timelines

SMALL GROUPS

· Fleece, Fiber, Yarn and Projects* Allie

· Teamwork Games Buddy

The Quiet Room

Staff Assignments

Works in Progress

Quotes and Wisdom