New Page 1

JHYM Retreats provide a safe and trusting community in which we seek to find that of God in ourselves and in each other. There are so many developmental, social, and spiritual aspects of life changing between 6^th and 9^th grade. Giving young people a place to be able to be present to those lightening speed changes within themselves, and one to another -- while still having fun – and learning that they can build their own beautiful, loving community of peers is incredibly rare and powerful. Our charge, as ministers of the Spirit, is to help our young people create a sanctuary in grace and joy.

WE ARE: Anne Anderson, Marion Athearn, Buddy Baker-Smith, Gretchen Baker-Smith, Dave Baxter, Jim Campbell, Jerry Carson, Brian Colby, and Sarah Gove, and Betsy Kantt.

WE ARE DEEPLY BLESSED to have Betsy making her debut as our retreat cook! Supreme Kitchen Goddess Wendyl Ross has dubbed Betsy the Serene Queen of the Hearth, and she and Exalted Food Wizard Carol Baker have given her their wisdom, recipes, and certificates of readiness! The attentive, funny emails between them the three of them has been extraordinary. I cannot express adequate thanks and awe!

JOINING US are 33 middle schoolers, 8 of whom are first timers – 4 being brand new to NEYM Youth Retreats!

PLEASE NOTE THE SIGNIFICANT PROGRAM CHANGE THIS YEAR. WE ARE NOT PROVIDING SUPPER ON FRIDAY NIGHT. THERE ARE SUBSTANTIAL SNACKS PROVIDED – but not dinner.

Arrival: I will be arriving with Buddy around 4:30pm. Registration is at 7pm. Please let me know your e.t.a. – anytime between 5:30 and 7 will be fine and much appreciated!

Wrap-up: Sunday Morning Worship is at 10:00, followed by announcements and lunch. I hope to be out by 1 or 1:30pm at the latest.

The Inner Light, the still, small voice, the presence of God……Nope, we can’t always explain it, describe it, or even understand it. In our cynical world, it can be a challenge to be a seeker of anything that can’t be quantified and recorded, especially concerning the Spirit. And yet, central to Friends is the honesty, beauty and awe in the Divine unknown. Come and share a weekend where, as singer, songwriter Susan Werner says, we “Don’t explain it away.”

It is my impression that our culture wants absolutes: guarantees, test results, court decisions. Schools, sadly, still mostly stress (and test) that all things can come down to true or false. Paradoxes are interesting as intellectual concepts, but too wishy-washy for policies or credos, and those willing to settle for uncertainty are simply foolish, ignorant, or impoverished. Even just being a hopeful person often gets you pegged as ‘nice.’ And it seems to me that hopeful boys and men have it much worse than we females here.

And, oh, but there is so much suffering in the world. I have been struck recently by how even the most optimistic and hopeful of people are struggling with the levels of violence, injustice, and suffering on our planet. I am alarmed at the widespread disillusionment amongst our teens and young adults, but given all that we hear and see through the media, I can empathize with their hearts’ struggles. There is a lot of darkness out there.

But there is also a lot of Light. And a lot of mystery. (Pause here for a moment, dear reader, and name at least 5 to yourself!) I deeply believe that it is essential that we help our young people – and each other – joyfully and courageously live within these heart-achingly paradoxical times, particularly as Friends.

Our experiences gathered in the Light are rarely tangible. As a whole, Friends don’t have absolutes of any kind to rally around. What joins us together is our commitment to our spiritual journeys, guided by the Still, Small Voice within. We are willing (or strive to be willing) to be open to the mysteries of that of God that allow us to be moved – to be transformed -- by the Spirit. But our road maps primarily consist of small signs (Queries) like, “Steep Hill; Check Breaks” or “Check Fuel; Last exit for 100 miles” and a few guardrails (the Testimonies). Not a lot for literalists, sufferers of anxiety – or anyone without hope.

Because of this, it is vitally important that we share our hope and our openness to holy awe with each other as small beacons of light along the way. Where have we been struck by wonder, overwhelming beauty, deep connection to the Holy? How (and why) do we make room for moments that nurture our hearts, that feed that place within us that leans towards the Light? What mysteries do we celebrate and lightly hold? What have we each learned in our own lives about living with the mystery, within paradoxes? How has this helped? How can we affirm and nurture what Ben Pink Dandelion says is our “absolute perhaps” – Friends’ enthusiastic certainty about uncertainty? (I love a piece he wrote for the London Sunday Times on this last year, which you can find at www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article6206864.ece.)

As I say on Friday night at every retreat, we come together to create a safe and joy-filled spiritual community where we can seek to find that of God in ourselves and each other. Merely showing up is a beautiful act of faith and hope! On top of nurturing our community, I am hoping we can provide a string of opportunities throughout the weekend for moments of joy, serendipity, beauty, grace, and presence…. Moments when we can pause and be present to the mysterious, the unknown, the miraculous. (Check out this ironic paradox, though: I want to try not to over-schedule our weekend so that they can have such moments, but we have to schedule those times in or they won’t likely happen….and provide ways to support those young people who have a more difficult time in such open-ended moments! J Scheduled-spontaneity???!)

I’m envisioning a singing bowl’s ringing stopping us in our tracks to look for wonder and beauty. I’m working on Saturday afternoon workshops like a clay meditation (Brian and Jerry?), knitting (Marion and me), poetry and writing (Jason and Anne?), a nature walk (Dave and Sarah?), pantomiming (Buddy and Jim?). I’m ever hopeful that Anne will be led to share a bible story for our Saturday night closing circle. We’ll wash windows and stack wood for Woolman Hill. I hope we’ll sing until I lose my voice again (it doesn’t take that long), maybe have a walk around the Hill’s new labyrinth under the stars, and laugh and love and be. I can’t wait. Thanks for coming, too!

Small Groups

Small Groups will meet three times over the course of the weekend: Friday evening, Saturday morning, and Saturday evening. We will be divided into 4 small groups – with 9 JH’ers and 2-3 staffers for each group. You’ll be in the same small group for the weekend. Here’s a peek! Details follow at the end of these notes.

will be a get-to-know you activity and opportunity for everyone to share struggles, successes and wisdom from being Still.

will be an opportunity to share our stories of times when we’ve experienced divine mystery (unexpected beauty, unity, love, peace, awe, joy, grace) in our common lives – what Virginia Woolf called “Moments of Being.” Your prep can be spending some time this week thinking about those times – and maybe having a few more! J

will involve supporting each other as we consider what it means/how to dare to live from a place of hope.

The Keep Hope Alive Project: During Friday Night’s Small Group, each person will get the name of another person in our small group whom they will hold in the Light for the weekend. In addition, we will have the opportunity to create something for ‘our’ person – written, drawn, molded from clay, gathered from the woods…that encourages them to keep the faith, to keep hope alive. It is not an artistic or literary contest – it’s the thought and prayer that counts! Any and all of the materials on the arts and craft table will be available for use. We did this a number of years ago at a JHYM Retreat, and it was extraordinarily meaningful to everyone – I’m delighted to bring it back.

Before lunch on Saturday we will gather in the Meeting House for worship sharing around the question “If you had 5-10 minutes with God, what would you ask?” (Noting that, as far as I’ve ever been able to figure, God works on God’s own time clock….so the amount of time isn’t really important.)

At some point Saturday afternoon, we will hopefully join Mark Fraser, long time Friend at Woolman Hill, and help move and stack some wood and wash some windows in the main buildings and the cabins. (Hence the need for spray bottles and work gloves.)

Worship on Sunday morning will be at 10:00. All friends and family are welcome to join us!

“FREE TIME”

Junior Highers want free time, but most of them want it with structure so that they can be in community. This is my mantra: “free time” is not staff free time. All of us on staff need to initiate group games (Apples to Apples, Egyptian War, JYM Ball, Graveyard Tag), inspire craft projects, encourage the creation of new Who’s Who Book pages, and engage stragglers into the mix in any ways we feel led – or the young people themselves lead. With JH’ers, it can be especially important to gently, continually nurture inclusivity. Please consider your gifts and leadings – and go for it!

Staff Assignments

“Getting to Know You and What You Do and Don’t Know”

1. Start with a little Silence, a quick review of the goals of small groups (respect, confidentiality, community building) and a round of check-ins, taking as long as you need. Please see First Timer Staffing Notes and/or the Suggestions for Leading a Small Group sheet in your staff notebook for additional guidance.

2. OPTIONAL “Warm-Up” game before getting to the “real” questions (see #3):

Tell the group you are going to be good neighbors and introduce each other to the group. Ask for a volunteer to start and introduce the person to their right – saying their name and where they are from. After this first volunteer has done that ask, “Well, what is the chore that your friend dislikes doing the most?“ When they protest that they don’t know – say that’s okay, that they are just to have fun and make their best guess! Then let the person just introduced answer the question for real. They then introduce the person on their right and answer the same question (or make up different ones)!

3. Then use the questions provided in the box. (If you did the warm-up game, a nice touch would be to get the person to the RIGHT of the volunteer pick a question for them to answer!) Some small groups pass the same question around the circle so that everyone can answer it. Some just have one person answer one question and then move on to the next. I find that mostly everyone likes to respond to every question! (Assure them they can ALWAYS pass, though they give us a gift when they share.)

1. As always, start with some Silence and a round of check ins. Take as long as you need to, giving space and time for any reflections on what was shared in our morning worship, especially if one of the speakers is in your small group.

2. OPTIONAL “Warm Up” activity: Ask everyone to go around the circle sharing their name and the first thing they said this morning when they woke up. J

3. Use the questions provided to delve into a conversation on times when we’ve experienced divine mystery (unexpected beauty, unity, love, redemption, peace, love, awe, grace) in our common lives – what Virginia Woolf called “Moments of Being.” Each person can answer a new question or give time and space for each question to be passed around the group for any who want to respond to it as well.

2. OPTIONAL “Warm Up” Activity: If you were creating a bumper sticker or billboard about the best part of Quakerism or being a Quaker (or being with Quakers), what would it say – or just be about?

3. Use the questions provided to delve into a conversation on the realities, struggles and joys, of living from a place of hope (especially as middle schoolers in 2010). Again, each person can answer a different question, or you can give everyone in the circle the opportunity to respond to each one.

4. Close with silence and affirmation of all you have shared and experienced together in your small group.

NOTE: Feel very free to take any art supplies with you – clay, yarn, and gimp – for your group members to work with while having these discussions!

Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
- Maya Angelou

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
- E.B. White

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
- Audrey Hepburn

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
- Roald Dahl

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
- Gilda Radner

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
- Emily Dickinson

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
- Albert Einstein

"Goodbye, said the fox. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC
- Kurt Vonnegut

Perhaps the prayer we make here may find its fulfillment on the other side of the world. Perhaps the help we are given in a difficult moment came from a praying soul we never knew. It is all a deep mystery, and we should be careful not to lay down hard and fast rules.”
- Evelyn Underhill

Never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me.

There was a strange light, as if there was a film of silver over everything <in the kitchen>, like frost only smoother, like water running thinly down over flat stones; and then my eyes were opened and I knew it was because God had come into the house and this was the silver that covered heaven. God had come in because God is everywhere, you can't keep him out, he is part of everything there is...I said, what do you want here? But he did not answer, he just kept on being silver, so I went out to milk the cow, because the only thing to do about God is to go on with what you were doing anyway, since you can't ever stop him or get any reasons out of him. There is a Do this or Do that with God, but not any because. - Margaret Attwood, Alias Grace

Mysteries of Faith

Small Groups

Staff Assignments

“Getting to Know You and What You Do and Don’t Know”