JHYM Retreat Staff Notes
Simplicity for JH'ers: It's Complicated
JHYM Retreats * Nov. 7-9, 2008 * Westport Meeting
Simplicity among New England Quaker JH'ers sure looks a lot different from what
George Fox envisioned. By the time we get through sports practices, music
lessons, service projects, club meetings, and homework – did we miss supper? –
and hundreds of miles of driving to get to retreats, we might wonder if we have
anything at all to say here. But early Friends thought it was very important,
and a lot of Friends today do, too. We will seriously, and playfully, consider
the relevancy, look, and wisdom for us in keeping it simple, <sweetie>.
WE ARE: Carol Baker, Buddy Baker-Smith, Jerry Carson, Rebecca Edwards, Richard
Lindo, Dimity Peters, Wendyl Ross, Karen Sanchez-Eppler, and Gretchen
Baker-Smith,
WITH Paula Andrade assisting Wendyl in the kitchen,
AND Elizabeth Walmsley, the coordinator for Middle School Friends, Philadelphia
Yearly Meeting, joining us as part visitor and part staffer.
SUCH an incredible, veteran crew! I am so grateful to you.
JOINING US are 27 JH'ers, including three first-timers, though only one is brand
new to NEYM's Youth Retreat programs.
The JHYM Retreat program's goal is to provide a safe and trusting community in
which we seek to find that of God in ourselves and in each other. Our charge, as
ministers of the Spirit, is to help our young people create a sanctuary. What I
appreciate more as the years go on, is just how rare and astounding a "safe and
trusting spiritual community" truly is for young teens. What we "do", with the
Grace of God, is provide them with an experience in building a spiritually
grounded community that they then take with them, and hopefully build on, for
years and decades and a lifetime to come.
Timelines
Arrival: Registration is at 7pm. I will be arriving at 4:30pm. Carol is picking
up Elizabeth Walmsley, our visitor from PYM, at the train station and hoping to
be at Westport by 6:15. If one or two more of you could join me by 6:30, we will
be in fine shape. (I know Karen won't be with us until about 8:00.) Please let
me know your E.T.A. Thanks!
Wrap-up: Sunday Morning Worship is at 10:00, followed by announcements and
lunch. NOTE: Westport Meeting is holding their Fall Cleanup Day on Sunday – I
tried to warn them, but they decided to go forward anyway – AND collecting
donations for Oxfam (via snacks and lunch) as well. I find this amusing given
our retreat's theme…Do know, dear hearts, that my goal is for us to be out by
our usual 1 or 1:30pm. We'll see – maybe we'll be quicker with Westport Friends'
help in the midst of their Cleanup Day! J
DIRECTIONS TO WESTPORT ARE ON OUR WEBSITE.
My thoughts on approaching this theme:
I owe this retreat theme to a beloved 90+ year old elder of my Meeting
(Westport) who gave a loving but clear message in Worship last spring about how
over-committed many of us were – particularly on First Days. In his gravely
voice, full of so many years of humor, wisdom, and faithfulness to the Spirit,
he gently but firmly ended with the phrase, "Keep it Simple, Stupid."
Just what is our Testimony of Simplicity? Preparing for this retreat has been a
real opportunity for me, personally, to read, pray, and reflect on it. Anyone
who knows me knows this is not my deepest well of wisdom – but rather, one from
which I yearn to be the exception! Born with an extra dose of energy and
interests for life, I find it very hard to say "no" and struggle with being
over-committed and so often distracted from the present moment – which means, I
have been so humbly realizing -- from God in the present moment. Hm. There is
something that stops me in my sneakers.
I know I am not alone in this struggle to embody much more than the edges of a
life of Simplicity. Those of us who do retreat ministry in JHYM and JYM have
been noticing with concern the increase in stress and weariness that our retreat
attenders, and their families, carry within them when they arrive at our door on
Friday evenings. Schoolwork, jobs, sports commitments, music lessons and bands,
language classes, citizenship and service project groups, theater productions,
peace demonstrations, Odyssey of the Mind teams, Meeting Potlucks and Committee
work, and even birthday parties…. the number of opportunities to be involved in,
to learn from, and to contribute to are almost unending.
My goal for this retreat, however, is not to bring all of our lives to a halt,
but rather to give our JH'ers the chance to consider whether or not Friends'
Testimony of Simplicity might be a helpful centerboard as they sail through
their very full teenage lives. In our large and small groups, we will consider
such questions as "What matters most?" "What distracts me from God/Spirit/Love?"
"How can I avoid commitments beyond my strength and Light" "Do I recognize when
I have enough?" (These last two are wonderful queries written by Elise Boulding.)
Perhaps our JH'ers will even write a few relevant queries to carry home with
them – and I'll take them, too.
Small Groups
Small Groups will meet three times over the course of the weekend: Friday
evening, Saturday morning, and early Saturday evening. We will be divided into 4
small groups – with 6 or 7 JH'ers and 2 staffers for each group. You'll be in
the same small group for the weekend. The primary goal of small groups is to
create a community within a community – exploring the theme is always secondary!
I will have additional materials in your staff notebooks, too – promise.
Friday night small group theme: "Truth and Transparency"
Please always start small groups with just a little bit of Worship to honor and
center what will be shared amongst you.
1. Talk about what JHYM small groups are, stressing confidentiality: Share and
talk about this quote from Kevin Lee's office: WHOM YOU SEE HERE, WHAT YOU HEAR
HERE, WHEN YOU LEAVE HERE, LET IT STAY HERE…Please refer to the "About Small
Groups" sheet in your staff notebook for more specifics if you need them (though
you all are veterans at this and will be just fine!)
2. Do a quick round of check-ins.
3. I've a fun game/exercise for you to do that will be in your staff notebooks.
Saturday morning small group: Life at the Center
1. Do a round of check-ins.
2. I will have some open-ended questions for everyone to pick from to help
jumpstart what might be a very honest and tender discussion on where God is in
our longing and "What matters most in our hearts and spirits."
Saturday evening small group: Living within my strength and Light
1. Do a round of check-ins.
2. At the moment, this is what I'm thinking about doing (but it may evolve, or
get tossed totally): I'll supply you with big newsprint sheets and markers so
that everyone can trace their upper torso and then illustrate within (or
outside) all of their daily life activities. What I am looking to do is to open
a discussion on such things as "How do we decide what to spend our time and
energy doing?" and "What's so hard about saying no?" "How does all that we do
impact us as beings?" "What's within our strength and Light, and what goes
beyond it?"
Other Things about this retreat
A note on our use of Westport's space: We will not be using the 2nd floor of the
Community House or the Meeting House at all, in order to help promote community.
The (only) two sleeping spaces will be the large room in the Community House and
the Meeting House.
Saturday afternoon trip to the beach: If the weather cooperates, we'll head down
to Horseneck Beach after lunch for a bit of a romp. Even if it's sunny, it will
be chilly – so bring a jacket, etc! Please let me know how many passengers you
can take in your car, if you haven't already emailed me this info. Thanks!
Saturday night activity: I'm working on an improv theater-type program that
explores a lot of ways when we are pulled in different directions by two masters
(parental versus friend approval……social success versus academic success, etc.)
I think it will be a lot of fun. A HUGE thanks to the Churchill/Ladd family that
has been my enthusiastic and insightful "think tank" on this one!
The Quiet Room
For a couple of years now, JHYM Retreats has had a Quiet Room available
throughout the retreat for JH'ers who need a break. It's become a lovely haven –
and, no, staffers, you can't all be people of presence there all weekend but I
do encourage you to stop by and help to nurture and preserve the space. In fact,
I will be looking for staffers to sign up for a stint or two during all free
time over the course of the weekend, to help hold the Silence and Worship,
further extending the experience of the theme.
"FREE TIME"
Junior Highers want free time, but most of them want it with structure so that
they can be in community. This is my mantra: "free time" is not staff free time.
All of us on staff need to initiate group games (Apples to Apples, Egyptian War,
JYM Ball, Graveyard Tag), inspire craft projects, encourage the creation of new
Who's Who Book pages, and engage stragglers into the mix in any ways we feel led
– or the young people themselves lead. With JH'ers, it can be especially
important to gently, continually nurture inclusivity. Please consider your gifts
and leadings – and go for it!
Staff Assignments
Retreat Nurse: Dimity
Craft Table Elder: Karen – I am sure Rebecca will be nearby, too!
Name Tag Czar: Rebecca
Photographer: Buddy
Quiet Room Staffing Coordinator: Richard
Free Time Staff Dispatcher: Jerry (make sure staff are not all in the kitchen!)
Field Trip Transportation Coordinator: Carol
Registrar: Gretchen, with assistance from Jerry when he arrives
Retreat Cook: I am THRILLED to have our Supreme Kitchen Goddess back with us!
Wendyl's Assistant: Paula
Final note: Do know, dear Friends, my gratitude and love for each of you.
Gretchen Baker-Smith, JHYM Retreat leader
508-997-0940 (h) * hellogretchen@gmail.com * 508-287-6441 (cell)