JHYM Retreat Staff Notes
JHYM Retreats * Sept. 14 - 16, 2007 * Westport Meeting
Exceptional Friends
We all make
generalizations, judgments and assumptions about others while
considering ourselves to be exceptions to 'the rules.' How can we be
mindful, courageous and open-hearted enough to more frequently see that
of God in every one at JHYM Retreats (and through experience, the rest
of our lives)?
Hello, dear ones! Thank
you so much for being willing to share your time, gifts, and open hearts
with our glorious bunch of Junior Highers on our first JHYM Retreat of
the school year. As staff we are: Carol Baker, Buddy Baker-Smith,
Dave Baxter, Sarah Hubner, Gregory North, Karin Sprague, and me.
This is Gregory’s first time staffing with us – we almost had him at the
Portland Retreat last May. He comes with stellar references and years
of experience in other settings. Welcome!
The Fabulous Carol Baker
has generously taken on the task of filling in for SKG Wendyl Ross, who
needs to be with Wellesley Meeting for their annual retreat. Wendyl
has, once again, generously given us incredible amounts of consultation
and advanced planning assistance around grocery lists, timelines, and a
daunting, extensive list of special diets. (I’ve heard that she shared
her apple crisp and bran muffin recipes, which are probably worth a lot
on ebay.) In her usual style, Carol has generously and cheerfully run
with this challenge. It is incredibly beautiful and inspiring to see
and feel what these two dear Friends do and are in Spirit and Love. I am
in awe. Thank you, thank you.
Though we usually take up to 35 on JHYM Retreats, I regrettably had to cut it to a maximum of 25 for this retreat because of our staffing numbers. We are just about at max now. We have a very small, but rock solid group of 8th graders; a few 7th graders who attended one or more retreats last year as 6th graders and were very much part of the program; and then a large incoming group of 7th and 6th graders from the JYM Retreat program who have never attended a JHYM Retreat. For most of them, JHYM Sessions was a very positive week, and I sensed that they are, as a whole, eager and able to be part of this new community (of many old Ffriends.) I am very much looking forward to nurturing and experiencing the grace-filled openings that so often happen, with the Spirit, in this circle.
I chose this retreat
theme to help us be as mindful and intentional as possible about how we
create this year’s community. In our large and small groups, and during
free time and activities, I hope that we can gently and joyfully nurture
trust and new relationships amongst our JH’ers, and create openings for
grace and peace in our Worship and play. I’ve been enjoying the
planning for this retreat a lot, and have some new games and activities
to try. I hope and trust that you will bring all of your gifts and
experience to this theme, too – and look forward to how you minister
with them. I encourage you to be open with the JH’ers in rooting and
grounding this theme and our community in Friends. While acceptance and
diversity are lovely sociological concepts, our belief in that of God in
every one, and in the possibility of the Spirit being manifest through
any of us in worship and in daily life, truly give these ideals breadth
and grounding. We are aiming for no less than heaven on earth. Really.
The JHYM Retreat
program’s goal is to provide a safe and trusting community in which we
seek to find that of God in ourselves and in each other. Our
charge, as ministers of the Spirit, is to help our young people create a
sanctuary for themselves and for others who come seeking one the rest of
this program year. What I am beginning to appreciate more as the years
go on, is just how rare and astounding a “safe and trusting spiritual
community” truly is for young teens. What we “do”, with the Grace of
God, is provide them with an experience in building community that they
then take with them, and hopefully build on, for years and decades and a
lifetime to come.
Timelines
Arrival: I will be arriving by
5pm, and I would welcome you anytime after that! A lot of JH’ers arrive
before or right at 7pm. Given how few we are, I really need all of us
to get there by 7pm at the latest. Let me know if this will be a
problem.
Wrap-up: We ask parents to
pick-up all JH’ers by 12:30; I aim to have all of my staffers on the
road by 1pm. I will put out a plea to Westport Meeting for additional
help with lunch cleanup – I think we can count on them to pitch in.
Again, because of our numbers, I really need to ask you to plan on
staying through lunch if at all possible.
Program Details
Small Groups will meet 3
times over the course of the weekend: Friday evening /Saturday
morning/and Saturday evening. You will find suggestions for discussion
topics as well as games/activities in your staff notebooks when you
arrive on Friday night. We will be divided into only 3 small groups –
with 8 or 9 JH’ers and 2 staffers for each group. You’ll be in the same
small group for the weekend, hopefully providing an opportunity for
community within community. The feedback about our small groups
continues to be overwhelmingly positive, which is a huge affirmation to
you, dear staffers.
Friday Evening’s Program: Getting to Know You
After some Opening
Worship, we’ll do names, a little program overview and a brief
introduction to the theme. In our large and small groups, and in the
welcome party afterwards, we’ll tell each other a bit about who we are
(and aren’t) and kick start the weekend and year.
Saturday Morning Program: More than what meets the eye
I’ve again asked several staffers and JH’ers to share in our Opening Worship – I am hoping they all agree. I continue to be so humbly moved by how powerful this personal witnessing is for the listeners and the speakers.
In our small groups, we’ll start with a round of check-ins and any reflections on what was shared in Opening Worship. If you choose, you can do a short, funny exercise that may help your group talk about how we perceive and judge others and how it feels to be so judged. With the new school year just under way, I trust there will be lots of very current situations and struggles, which JH’ers can bring to this discussion. The key may be in not letting it just turn into a tirade of injustices (in which case something from ‘walking a mile in your shoes’ might be introduced). I am quite hopeful that, given this group of awesome JH’ers, that each group will have at least a few young people who may be willing to honestly share about a time when they mistakenly judged someone, too, and what they learned from that.
As always, I trust you as
grounded, wonderful people to take this discussion where you feel the
group led to go. The most important thing is that everyone feels
they’ve had a chance to be heard – and that the similarities and
differences in their experiences are honored and respected. Remember
that this entire retreat weekend is really about starting this year’s
community, which can grow and deepen over the 8 months of retreats
ahead.
FYI: There is a separate
sheet on Suggestions for Leading Small Groups in your staff notebooks
that may be useful for you to read (again).
After some free time
(Buddy, can you invent yet another new tag game outside???), we’ll
circle back up for a large group activity that will focus on nonverbal
communication and gossip. We’ll wrap up by compiling a list of ways in
which our Quaker faith and community can help us to be more inclusive,
accepting, and nurturing.
Saturday Afternoon Program: Field Trip
Weather permitting, we will head down to Horseneck Beach right after lunch for an afternoon of fun and play. We can play Capture the Flag, romp in the sand, wade in the water (up to our ankles), and enjoy the outside world. (If the weather is awful, we’ll have to think of something else. Bowling, maybe????)
When we return, it’ll be
time for Quiet Hour (if weather permits, I may offer one outside in the
grass – we’ll see). We’ll circle up for about a half hour of Worship in
the Meeting House before supper.
Saturday Evening Program: Exceptional Friends
The ‘heart’ of our evening program will be in our small groups. After a round of check ins, we’ll make boxes in which group members can then put written affirmations of each other, especially acknowledging each other’s gifts of presence in the group. If JH’ers feel safe enough, they might verbally also gently and honestly share any mistaken first impressions or assumptions that they made about each other – with humor and reflection.
Afterwards, we will
gather back together as a large group to affirm and celebrate our
spiritual community and all of our courage and open-heartedness, play a
game, sing and worship a little, and wrap up our day together.
Sunday Morning: Taking it to the Streets
As all of you (but
Gregory) know, this is the toughest part of the retreat weekend for me –
Sunday mornings are rough! (Good Coffee, dark roasted, organic, free
trade, helps some…..) Pack up, clean up, circle up, wrap up, with
smiles, hugs, affirmations, and final messages about taking the essence
of what we’ve shared back to our homes, schools, and neighborhoods.
Worship is at 10AM with Westport Meeting, followed by a quick lunch,
many hugs, and safe travels home.
An Important Note on Free Time:
Junior Higher’s want free time, but most of them want it with structure so that they can be in community. My mantra: “free time” is not staff “free time.” In order to nurture community, all of us on staff need to initiate group games (Apples to Apples, Egyptian War, JYM Ball, Graveyard Tag), inspire craft projects, encourage the creation of new Who’s Who Book pages (it’s a new year, so everyone can make a new one), and engage stragglers into the mix in any ways we feel led – or the young people themselves lead. Please consider how you would feel most comfortable doing this – and go for it!
I’ll also bring 2
disposable cameras for JH’ers to use.
Staff Assignments
Registrar: Dave
Retreat Nurse: Buddy
Carpool Coordinator for the beach trip: Gregory, with assistance from Sara
Name Tag Czar: Karin
Craft Table Elder: Sara
Queen of the Kitchen: Carol
Final note:
Do know, dear dear
Friends, my gratitude and love for each of you. I am really looking
forward to our weekend together in community and ministry. Travel safely
and be well. I love you.
Gretchen Baker-Smith
JHYM Retreat leader
508-997-0940 (h) * Gretchen@jymretreats.org * 508-287-6441 (cell)